Posted by: iderek

If you look at the definition of the word ‘listener’ you might read something like, “one who listens attentively”, or something along those lines. Though listening is quite an art in and of itself, it is not impossible to achieve. Becoming and good listener takes a little bit of time and practice, but it's well worth what you put into it. After searching long and hard in the vast chasms of my mind, I have come up with a couple things that have definitely helped me gain ground in my conversations with others.

We’ve all been in a conversation before where the person we are talking to has a bit of a struggle maintaining his or her end of the conversation, whether it be eye contact or staying alert to the subject at hand. For example, I have a great friend who I enjoy spending time with very much and although he has known me for quite a while, he has a tough time maintaining eye contact with me. And obviously he is even more standoffish with strangers and people he meets for the first time. The result, unfortunately, is a lack of trust in him from the person he is talking to. It’s hard to get to know someone very well if you never see their eyes, and especially if they are talking to you!

Rule #1

When having a conversation with someone, maintain steady eye contact. (even if you don’t want to). This will show the other person that you are confident about what you speak. If you don’t take anything else from this article, make sure you at least learn this: eye contact is probably the biggest factor in determining whether a conversation ends good or not.

Now, onward. Have you ever been in a conversation with someone, and you just feel like you have something absolutely incredible to tell them? Something that is super cool and important, and as you look over at the person, they are just kind of watching the birds in the trees or maybe watching a plane flying above? Well, I have, and it sucks! I have found that people will love you to death if you act truly interested in what they have to say. Listening intently to what someone else has to say is incredibly important to becoming an excellent listener. If you do listen carefully and intently to someone, they will learn to trust you more and more and you will find that they won’t ever hesitate talking to you about stuff, because they feel they can trust you.

Rule #2

Listen to others intently, like you really care about what they have to say. You will build friends faster and stronger this way.

Apply these two things as you talk to people, I’m confident that they will help you. Good Luck!