Problem:

You probably know plenty of people that are REALLY good at what they do, whether it’s business, sports, or another arena in life. You know they are good, but THEY know they are good. They also show it through arrogance and cockiness. Whether they are talking big or throwing their money in your face, their cockiness seeps out of their pores.

Sometimes, people like this need to humble down.

Answer:

My father taught me a phrase as I grew up in this world. He didn’t invent it, but merely passed it on so that I could gain a strong understanding of what it meant as I progressed through life.

Here is the phrase:

Walk Softly and Carry a Big Stick

You might be asking, “What in the world does that mean?” Well, some of you know, and some of you don’t.

Let’s break it down.

Walk Softly

Typically, walking softly means knowing you are confident, but you keep it to yourself. It also means you can hold the bigger hand, so to speak, but only YOU know that.

Poker player’s, in my honest opinion, are notorious for walking softly. If you have ever watched Texas Hold’em on ESPN, you will notice how some of the players are very quiet. What they are doing is analyzing and studying everything, from player’s reactions, emotions, facial expressions, and composure. Some players are cocky and you can witness them running their mouth constantly during the show, other’s sit back and don’t take the limelight, but continue to make their moves.

Carry a big stick

Carrying a big stick can mean a lot of things, but in a nutshell, it means knowing you can beat your competitor or adversary, but not being loud about that confidence (i.e.; Cocky).

To continue with the Poker example, carrying the big stick could be knowing what cards you hold (pun intended). While one player is loud and obnoxious, the other player sits silently analyzing the whole situation, and then striking fast and hard with a strong hand of cards.

The point

The point of this article is to not teach you how to play poker. It’s a life lesson that is very valuable. As you grow and progress through this life, be fully aware of your capabilities and be confident in your decisions, but be humble about it. If you are rich or plan on becoming rich, then be humble about what you have. Don’t shove it in peoples’ faces. Knowing that YOU have it and letting others know that you have it are two different things.

In a sport, like golf, let your clubs do the talking, not your mouth. I am not saying keep to yourself. Talk, engage, interact, and communicate, but don’t wear your confidence and cockiness on your sleeve.

I can promise that you have seen both of these types of people: humble people and cocky people. Which ones end up being someone you would rather be around?

Be gracious in defeat, and humble in victory

Be being gracious in defeat, and humble in victory. By doing so, you can leave a great impact on “who you are” on people. Let me explain.

If you are defeated in a sporting event, it looks very poor on yourself if you choose to moan, groan, complain, and act like a child (btw - you should teach your children to be gracious in defeat and humble in victory when they are young). Even if you feel like moaning, groaning, and complaining, don’t show it. Tell your opponent “congratulations, shake their hand, tell them it was a great match and that you thoroughly enjoyed it”. Compliment your opponent if you are in front of other people. Don't talk about how much it sucks that you lost.

Again, you want to save face here. You will look like a good person by being gracious in defeat, EVEN if you feel like crap for losing.

The same goes for being humble in victory. If you win your match, compliment your opponent. Yes, the limelight will be on you, but thank others that have helped you, thank your opponent for a great match, and try and stay away from a lot of I type of statements, especially if it’s a team event.

Again, you look good doing this, even if it’s not exactly how you want to act. You might, in your heart, feel like running in front of everyone with your middle finger up yelling “I’m the best, YEA! You all suck!”

Is that really going make you look good? You might be a winner in YOUR mind, but you will be a loser in their mind.

Conclusion

Walking softly and carrying a big stick can be used in all facets of life. I have used sports examples above, but the phrase can go for all types of jobs and arenas.

If you have a lot of money, the world does not need to know your rich, only you do.

Ever heard of church’s receiving anonymous donations? Sometimes you will hear of a church receiving $1 million from an anonymous donor. Someone like this Walks softly but carries a big stick. That donor feels he/she does not need to be on TV explaining to everyone that they are rich and felt like giving back to the community. They just felt like doing it.

Be confident, know who you are, and know that you are good, but don’t cram your ego down other peoples’ throats.

9 times out of 10, Walking Softly and Carrying a big stick will play in your favor. Another good site with some explanations and examples is Uncle Max Says.