Posted by: leita

Problem:

Your local civic org, Chamber of Consumption, is hosting a potluck meet/greet/eat and CoCo food committee chairperson Mabel Potter coerced volunteered you to whip up enough deviled eggs to feed several third world countries. Never mind you’ve no time to do this; your eggs suck worse than a Hoover. Noxious green on the inside and the outside looks like the meteor weird Uncle Theodore swears he souvenired last time the aliens treated him to a vacation on Ximbaubuck-clickclick.

Answer:

Instead of looking for a solution in dusty cookbooks or from snotty professional chefs, let’s take a tip from the real pros, women and men who were raised in kitchens with speckled linoleum floors and wood-burning stoves.

How to Boil Eggs

This works for a single egg or two dozen.

What you will need:

1. One heavy pot large enough to hold all ingredients with room to boil
2. One lid that fits the above
3. Eggs - however many needed - at least a day old is best
4. Cold tap water - enough to cover eggs
5. One kitchen timer

Place eggs in pot. Fill with enough cold tap water to completely cover the eggs, leaving room at the top for when it is boiling. Place on stovetop; turn heat to medium-high and let come to a roiling boil. When eggs are merrily dancing about in the pot turn the heat off and cover with lid (an airtight seal is not necessary, the need to be cozy, not smothered).

Set timer for 15 minutes. Let covered pot sit on the warm stove eye. Do not peek, they’re just eggs for crying out loud.

When the timer goes off, move pot with eggs still inside to the sink and run cold tap water on them until cool enough to not cause scarring of fingers when touched.

With the water still running into the pot, pick up each egg and rap it firmly but gently on a hard flat surface to crack the shell and disturb the membrane inside. Don’t forget the ends. Tenderly roll the egg on the flat surface to make sure it is cracked evenly all over. Place back into pot, pick another and repeat until all are cracked.

Optional: fill the pot with ice cubes if eggs need to be cold right away.

Pick up each pre-crackled egg and start to peel. Make sure you start peeling under the membrane. At this point, the eggshell should practically fall off the egg leaving it with a smooth exterior. Rinse and return to the ice water or use immediately.

Eggs cooked in this manner will not be green inside and almost all should be divot-free on the outside.

Crack open a nice bottle of wine and toast yourself in advance as you will definitely be mentioned in next month’s CoCo newsletter in the same paragraph as “…and a good time was had by all.”