Posted by: Britt

Some of life’s biggest transitions include getting married, buying your first home, graduating from college, and having your first baby. The more space you could wedge in between each one, the better equiped you will be to handle each transition.

Some people feel the need to buy a home when that first baby comes along. Perhaps it’s a sign that it’s time to settle down and start a family. A house ties it all together.

My wife and I fell into that line of thinking, but after talking about it, we decided that one major transition was all we wanted to face. We knew other people who had done both around the same time, and they seemed to be doing all right. Why couldn’t we handle it as well?

Our decision was based on our desire to focus first on the baby, who, after all, would have no memory of the places we lived in those first couple years. We actually moved into a smaller apartment to save money for the house we wanted to buy when our new daughter was a bit older.

In the book Managing Transitions, William Bridges writes that transitions start with an ending. In the case of a new baby, it’s an end to your spontaneity, normal sleeping patterns, and time alone. He advises that “[o]nce you understand that transition begins with letting go of something, you have taken the first step in the task of transition management” (author’s emphasis).

One thing we let go of was the desire or the need for everything to be perfect. We knew we were facing a new challenge where we would be learning as we went along. We knew we would make mistakes, but we also realized that by limiting our own stress (by eliminating the work involved in buying a home), we would be better prepared to deal with a new baby.

Looking back, from the advantage of our new home and growing daughter, we are both glad we took the time to sit down and have a talk early in my wife’s pregnancy about waiting on the house, because when it did come time to focus on buying our first home, we had a third person who helped in the decision.